"What's wrong with a full-time housewife asking her husband to do housework and childcare!"
A 39-year-old woman who was tired of raising a girl for the first time after 10 years of marriage. She has asked her manager husband to take a year off, and her housework and childcare demands have escalated.
A woman's post, "Isn't there a way to get her husband to do more housework and childcare?" She said, "I feel sorry for my husband who is doing his best."
Is it common sense that "full-time housewives do housework"? I asked an expert.
My husband is 40 years old and has an annual income of about 9 million yen. She is a manager in the company. "I asked him to take childcare leave for about a year, but he made excuses and refused to take it." Instead, telework for half the week. My husband's role is to throw away the trash, prepare dinner, clean up afterward, fold and put away the laundry, take a bath for the children, milk in the morning and before bed.
When teleworking, feed the child all day long, comfort him when he cries, change his diaper, and play with him in between work. Laundry, shopping for daily necessities and food, and other small things. It looks like you're working hard and doing it, but the contributor isn't convinced.
"Actually, I want my child to have a bath by 6pm, but on days when I'm at work, I don't get home until 8pm, so I take a bath after that. No matter how much I say, it won't get better." I got angry, saying, "Who do you think your child is growing up thanks to that? Who is it that we have all that milk and diapers at home?" It's only natural that I'm doing most of the housework and childcare, but I'm the only one who's having a hard time. Many of them argued that they should not demand housework and childcare from their husbands because they are full-time housewives."I thought that the opinion that 'full-time housewives are supposed to do housework' doesn't suit the current times. It's normal for men to do housework and childcare now, and it doesn't matter that I'm a full-time housewife. When my husband goes to work, I too am busy with housework and childcare, and before I knew it, it was late at night. Take action. I can't really use it.'
It said .
The overwhelming majority of the responses to the post were, "My husband is doing more housework than average." It was a sympathetic opinion, saying, "I feel sorry for my husband."
"If it were me, I wouldn't want to go home. It's my first time raising a child. I'm sorry, but I think it's hard for your husband, who earns this much annual income and is a manager. You're a full-time housewife, aren't you? A dual-income single. I think there are many mothers who do one-off surgery, but I think they are blessed compared to that.If you say "I'm the only one", you should be able to earn as well.On top of that, you can finally be on an equal footing with your husband. I would like them to understand how difficult it is to work in a managerial position.”“I am also a full-time housewife, and I look after my 2-year-old and 0-year-old at home, but my husband has to go on business trips. So, there are days when I watch it alone.It's not that I don't take childcare leave, but if I do, it affects my income.I don't want to take it because I want to maintain my current lifestyle.I'm home from 6:00 to 21:00. I'm not at home, but on the days I get home and on my days off, I take care of my children as much as I can. Do you think you're growing up sukusuku? Who's to blame for all that milk and diapers at home?' He seems angry, but I'm surprised. What I want to say is that the husband is working and earning money. Then?”There were also many objections to the “argument” that most of the world's husbands are taking childcare leave.
"It's normal for husbands to take childcare leave and do most of the housework and childcare, but I'm the only one who's struggling." In any case, if the husband takes childcare leave in a full-time housewife household, who will pay for the living expenses during that time?” “The percentage of men taking childcare leave in the world is around 10%. I don't think there are many people who have taken childcare leave for a year. Even if my wife tells me to do something unreasonable by talking about the world of dreams, my husband is kind enough to apologize.” The number of people taking childcare leave is increasing, but that assumes that the wife is working.Even if the wife is a full-time housewife, she can take childcare leave, but I don't think the company will welcome it as a husband.Management at 40 years old If you have a job, you will definitely be out of the way.Since your annual income is 9 million yen, you can be a full-time housewife, but is it okay if your income is cut in half?――How did you feel after reading this post and the opinions of the respondents?
Keitaro Kawakami: “As far as I can see from the content of the post, it is only written about dissatisfaction with my husband, so if I cut out only the current situation, I think that the person who posted it does not feel gratitude to her husband. It seems that the woman has been placed in a high stress state.It's not that you have to do all the housework because you're a full-time housewife.I don't think it's bad to share the housework with your husband. However, my husband seems to be doing a good enough job to keep the household running, and without gratitude he says, ``Who do you think your children are growing up so quickly?'' The attitude of asking for gratitude only for one's own housework and childcare does not make sense and gives a one-sided impression.On that point, many of the points made by the respondents are common sense and convincing. I think so.However, common sense thinking does not apply to all couples.I think it is important to seek the best housework and childcare methods for couples who post. h2> Full-time housewives do not have "work" breaks for 365 days There is a trend that it is strange to demand housework and childcare from working husbands. Have you done any research on this issue at "Shufu Job Research Institute," which supports working housewives and for which you serve as a research advisor?Mr. Kawakami: Every year, Shufu JOB Research Institute conducts a questionnaire survey of wives about their husbands' housework and childcare. The results of 2020 show that 46.4% of the respondents were dissatisfied with their husbands' housework and childcare. Among those who answered “dissatisfied,” there was also a full-time housewife who said, “I am not currently working.” In the free comments, many full-time housewives expressed their dissatisfaction with their husbands. "I don't have autonomy and often wait for instructions. I don't do anything unless I tell them." "I think it's nothing to do with me. Even if I notice that I've messed up, I can just ignore it because I think someone will clean it up." I think some people suppress their dissatisfaction with their husbands by saying, "I'm very troublesome," "I don't help at all when I talk about childcare," or "I'm a full-time housewife." The contributor is not the only full-time housewife." Reference link: "Husband's housework and childcare 2020: How did married women evaluate?" What do you think about the opinion that it's natural to do housework and childcare, and it's not right to demand it from a working husband?Kawakami: Even if you are a full-time housewife, the burden of housework and childcare varies from family to family. You can take a set minimum number of days off.However, a full-time housewife does not have 365 days off for "housework and childcare work".It is natural that consideration must be given to the hardships and stress of working husbands. However, housework and childcare, which do not take breaks, also poses a different kind of difficulty than working.In the immediate aftermath of a child's birth, there are times when there is no 24-hour rest due to things like crying at night.Even if you are a full-time housewife, you must take on all the housework and childcare. Moreover, the author has just had a child after 10 years of marriage. ―Among the respondents, there are many who say, "Despite the busyness of his managerial position, my husband does a great job with housework and childcare. It seems pitiful to be criticized for it." Also, in response to the contributor's criticism that "all husbands in the world take childcare leave. Why don't they take one year?" If you do, you will lose your income,” he criticizes.Mr. Kawakami "I think there is no doubt that the poster is quite mentally driven. Just as there are individual differences in tolerance for pain such as injections, how you feel about the degree of burden of housework and childcare. However, there is also a misunderstanding among some of the respondents regarding childcare leave. (67% of wages, 50% after 6 months) will be paid, so once you take childcare leave, you won't have to worry about your income immediately. It's still a minority, but the bottlenecks of taking childcare leave are that leaving work can hinder career development, such as losing track of career advancement and being unable to gain the understanding of superiors and co-workers. I think it's supposed to be. Whether or not the poster's husband's workplace takes care not to cause career disadvantages due to taking childcare leave should be an important point."-If you were Mr. Kawakami, how would you advise the contributor and his husband?
Mr. Kawakami "I think the person who posted this post has only a strict view of her husband. However, if she doesn't spit it out, her feelings may become even more blocked. But), and I think it can't be solved even if you think about it logically.I think that the poster is working hard every day until he corners himself to that point.I refute such a poster's statement The husband who does not do one may understand the condition of the poster and act not to provoke.However, the situation should also cause a great deal of stress to the husband.The mind and body of the husband who lives together If the high stress condition does not improve in the future, the mental and physical health of the author, his wife and children will be given top priority, and the living environment I think we need to think about how to deal with it, including making a big change to it."(Kazuo Fukuda)